![]() Likewise, it’s how you learned what a jagoff driver really can be in this city. The bumper cars! Aside from the old Turnpike, this is how you learned how to drive. As the raft spun you would pray that the huge waterfall wouldn’t dunk you, because you’d spend the rest of the afternoon walking around with wet shoes. I’m pretty sure this ride got its name because your mom would be raging at you for riding it without packing spare clothes. Is there anything less romantic than a lasagna-loving fat cat? How do you stop riders from participating in hanky-panky? Make it a kiddie ride. If this was still the Old Mill, it would have made the top 10. This is the second-best ride for squashing your riding partner. You think it’s going to be as awesome as Independence Day, but it’s more like Mars Attacks.Ī classic ride for people who love the belly drops but hate the roller coaster heights. Just like Deebo, when you get off of this ride, you’ll need some oxygen. Ninety feet up and swinging at 50 miles per hour, it’s the same rush you got when James Harrison intercepted and scored in Super Bowl XLIII. You just know the designers were like “Hey, let’s see how much puke we can make the clean-up crew shovel this summer.” It swings and spins and isn’t recommended after a greasy Johnny Rockets burger. ![]() The Swings! It’s now nestled over in Lost Kennywood, but it doesn’t matter how old you are, you still think you’re going to be able to reach the person in front or beside of you. If you’re thinking to yourself, “Which one is the Volcano?” it’s the one that made you so sick you vomited into the mushroom fountain. You get a rush for about five seconds and then you ask “Why did I even do this?” This ride is basically the equivalent of a whip-it. No matter who you rode with, after 15 minutes, they were your mortal enemy. You can get more stomach-dropping dips on the brick roads of Crafton. Everyone just knows it as the Umbrellas that your little sister wanted to ride 35 times. I know it takes you around the park and you see the river n’at, but it ain’t no thrill. I mean, the parking lot ski lift is more exciting! Grab some Potato Patch fries, ‘cause here we go: So after debating with the neighbor’s kid abaht what was the best ride, I decided to put together a final and definitive ranking (not be confused with the Rankin Bridge) of the rides at Kennywood. ![]() But as soon as you got past her, it was time to Go like Cowboy Joe! ![]() Once you parked, walked through the gates and through the final tunnel of the trip, you were greeted by… a lady with a camera trying to sell you a keychain picture viewer. You’d be in the back of the mini-van, wearing matching shirts with your siblings, counting the Kennywood signs all the way to the park. Technically, it’s only eight miles from The Point, but in Pittsburgh terms, it’s an hour and a half once you hit the Squirrel Hill Tunnel. As a parent, it was a money pit full of failed carnival games, square ice cream cones and personalized sailor hats. Since it opened as a trolley park in 1899 for the Mellon family to polish off a tall glass of lemonade and fight-off tuberculosis, it is the original staycation destination for Yinzers.Īs a kid, it was a rite of passage to be old enough to ride the Thunderbolt, and it was the first place you ever saw “Dippin Dots - The Ice Cream of the Future.” As a teenager, it was the place to make out with your crush through the Old Mill during your school trip. When the mercury is on the rise, we make our annual pilgrimage to West Mifflin to bask in the majesty of… Kennywood. don’t even think about coming ‘closer’ to Pittsburgh ‘til you figure that aht!). That can only mean one thing: the weather is warmer in the Burgh. The lawn chairs are out of the streets and the jean shorts are out of the crawl space. Grab your fanny packs, it’s time to follow the yellow arrows toward another edition of Uncle Jerry’s Points of Interest.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |